Because I have the worst time making a freaking fire!
So it's a cold windy day here and I decide I would like a fire. David isn't home yet so it's totally up to me. So I clean out the fire place of ashes and put wood in there. I recycled the newspaper earlier today so I used old cell phone and electric bills. So I put lots of paper in there and light it up. Lots of smoke, no fire. I try this a few more times, I have to open the door and turn on the fan so I don't suffocate. No go.
So I go outside to search for an axe so I can chop some small pieces. I find an old axe with a loose head in the shed. I try to chop a piece and drop it on my foot. Fabulous. I choose a smaller piece and manage to get it into two smaller pieces. YAY! I take my two pieces of kindling back into the house and try again. I do manage to get those two pieces started and I decide to peel my pomegranate. So I go in the kitchen and get it peeled and put into a bowl for snacking. I put the bowl on the toaster so I can clean the counter, but the bowl falls and spills seeds into the space between the fridge and the counter. SHIT! So I pick up some of them, and drag out the vacuum to get the seeds. Ok, now the fires out. CRAP! So I put another piece of wood on there and MORE paper. Finally I get a true fire. So now I am enjoying a nice fire, some pom seeds with my gassy dogs.