Monday, April 02, 2007

Time flies by

Karol, I am so happy to hear from you. JP is adorable. You must be in heaven! And a new home? That is great.

Surgery went well. He diagnosed me with stage 3 endo but managed to clean it out. He tested both tubes and they are clear. So we get three months to try on our own before he wants to start fertility drugs. Yuck, I want NO part of that.

I don't think, however, that this is our month. I have been EXTREMELY moody lately and broke down and tested today. Of course it was BFN. I knew it would be but gave in anyway. I needed to pee on something I guess! It would help if I had temped this month, but I traveled for two weeks, and I hate temping in other time zones.

Now I am going t whine. I just feel so down about all of this. DH was great this month, we got a lot of BD-ing in, all for nothing it seems. And I have these two random scars right above my pubic hair that look like freaking eyes. Every day when I get dressed, I have these two things LOOKING at me. I hope they will fade but right now they are scary dark. So that's my whine. This month marks three years of TTC. I just can't even explain how aggravating that is to me. Who would have thunk that? Very frustrating.

Well, it's almost 1 am here and the cat is going nuts. I guess I should go to bed.

Karol, I am really happy you stopped in. I just looked at JP's pics on BF and he really is so cute. Glad to hear everything is going good.

Alexis

Saturday, February 17, 2007

Surgery soon

So it's been FOREVER since I have been on here. I guess I should just start thinking of this as a diary since no one ever comes here. I always feel like I have to watch what I say on Myspace since I have students as my friends.

Monday I go for my pre-op appointment, and I have to go register at the day surgery place and some other things. Then Wednesday is the laparoscopy. I guess I should back up a bit. I have a 4 cm cyst on my ovary and he suspects endometriosis. If the cyst is an endometrioma, then I have stage 3 endo already. I believe that he is going to clean up any endo that he sees and also wants to see what is causing the blockage on the left tube. I will be out of work for three straight days. Yuck! I can't decide what to tell the kids. So of them know that I am having surgery, but I don't know if I tell everyone if it will scare them, especially if I am not clear on what the surgery is for. I know that makes it sound like I think I am all that but some of them are attached to me like I am to them. That happens when you know them and teach them for so many years. Plus, if I tell them what I am out for, they MIGHT be more likely to behave. Who knows what I will do. I will decide on Tuesday.

I am happy that my biology grad class is done with macromolecules. I was swamped during that whole chapter. Now we are on cells parts and functions and I know that stuff. So I feel better about that. Now I just have to wathc 4 hours of biology, 2 hours of chemistry and 2 hours of math. Thrilling huh? Guess I should get off my lazy ass and start cleaning the house so I can get that done. Adios.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Updates

So we are just a week away from our RE appointment. I can hardly wait. But just in case I didn't have enough stuff to deal with, I finally got setup for grad school starting tomorrow. Lets say that its been rough. But we are registered and they are paying for everything.

Well, that's all I have for now. School is going ok and the chem unit I think will be fun. No more snow but it's damn cold!

Saturday, January 06, 2007

SNOW






























It's snowing! It's beautiful!


There's also a pic of the flowers my husband sent me this week!

Monday, January 01, 2007

Breakdown

So I blame this whole emotional breakdown on Jennifer. If she hadn't cancelled our lunch date, I wouldn't have been with my SIL today and I wouldn't have just metally and emotionally broke.

Just kidding, not about the breakdown but blaming jennifer.

I feel broken, I feel like no one understands, not even DH. I feel extremely angry at her, at me, at the whole fucking world.